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How to Break through Procrastination…by Procrastinating

Never in my life has my living space been neater than it was during college finals.

Truth be told, I have never been the naturally neatest person.

(Somewhere out there, my parents are laughing and thinking, “That’s the understatement of the year!”)

But you would not have guessed that to see my room in college.

For four years, everything had a place.

My bed was always made, my desk always organized, with nary a paper clip astray.

How?

How did I maintain such a neat and tidy space when my room at home was always a disaster area?


What Do We Know? A “Game” to Play When You Feel Lost

Feeling lost?

When you’re in the midst of a career change, sometimes it can feel like you have no idea who you are or where you’re going.

It’s disconcerting to look ahead and see a big question mark.

We often feel grounded by what we do for a living—we hook our identity onto it.

This is encouraged by a culture where the question “So, what do you do?” is often the first point of connection after “What is your name?” when meeting someone new.

Similarly, your whole internal identity can feel called into question when you’ve just ended—or are considering ending—a long-term relationship.

Even if you consider yourself a pretty independent lady or fella, putting a big question mark next to a human constant in your life can start the identity wheel spinning.

When you’re feeling confused, unrooted, and uncertain due to a huge looming question mark, here’s a little game you can play, inspired by one of my favorite TV programs growing up.


What Will You Miss? Consider the Big Yellow Taxi Factor

Picture this:

It’s Saturday night, and you’re all alone, sitting on the couch, drinking wine by yourself and watching a sappy movie. The phone isn’t ringing. You have no one to talk to, nowhere to go, and nothing to do.

What just came up for you?

If you are like some of my clients, the singles who long to be grounded in partnership and family, it’s likely you thought, “How depressing.”

And then, maybe, “FML.”

If you are like some of my other clients, such as the mother who can hardly believe that there was a time she had a moment to herself, but knows in hazy half-memory that she did once, and fears that she never will again, it’s likely you got a dreamy look on your face and thought, “How divine.”

And then, maybe, “FML.”

The same scenario; radically different interpretations and experiences.

Perspective is everything.

How can you create perspective for yourself, when you so powerfully long for some part of your life to be different?

Today I have a great exercise for you that will help you do just that.


Pity Parties and Relationship Tantrums

Smart women

Do you throw relationship tantrums?

A couple weeks ago, I broke one of my favorite mugs.

There are a million and a half metaphors here, but today I’m writing about three literal instances of breaking things, and what they can teach us about some common, but destructive, relationship behavior.

My best friend gave me this mug over a decade ago, for my first year as a school teacher.

“Smart Women THIRST for knowledge,” the mug proclaimed.

Every single school day for nine years, that mug held the tea and coffee that helped to power me. On hard days, reading the mug gave me a little boost.

And now it’s broken.

Don’t worry—I’m not throwing myself a pity party.

But I AM going to tell you about a pity party I threw a long time ago. And I bet you’ve thrown the same party.


Take 5: Spring Edition

Happy spring!

Before you say goodbye to winter, take just 5 minutes to take stock of what this winter meant for you and your life.


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