Happiness

Talking to Yourself: What Would You Say?

by Carrie in Everything, Happiness

Imagine you could go back in time (as the adult you are now) and sit down with your 6- to 18-year-old self. What age would you pick, and what would you say?

Write down your response to this question before reading on.

For real!

Done?

Okay.

A few weeks ago, I asked everyone in our thirtyawesome community to share your answers to this question. I was inspired by your responses, and struck by the common threads that ran through answers that were sent in from so many different people.

Across the board, the responses centered around four main themes:

Take 5: Gratitude Edition

by Carrie in Happiness, Take 5

Gratitude isn’t a destination; it’s a practice. Here’s a brief, but powerful, exercise you can do to quickly tap into simple joy and appreciation.

Grab a pen and paper, or open up a new document, and take just 5 minutes to work through this brief—but potentially transformational—process.

From Lab to Garden to Car Lot to Massage Studio: Carrie Spaulding, CPC Interviews Diane Matkowski

by Carrie in Career Change and Fulfillment, Happiness, Interview, Relationships, Transitions

Diane Matkowski, LMT, HHC
Freedom Massage

“I had no idea what I was going to do…I had zero plan… Now I realize what a gift it was.”

Meet Diane Matkowski. She has been a lab aide, a landscape gardener, a car salesperson, a massage therapist, and a business owner.

Join me as I talk to Diane about her multi-stop hop on a career path that led to opening her own business.

Are you thinking, “I could never do that!”?

Well, Diane had nooooo idea that would ever be possible for her, either.

The Tonsillectomy Technique: How to Get over Getting Over It

by Carrie in Breakups, Career Change and Fulfillment, Everything, Happiness, Transitions

When I was 27, I had a tonsillectomy. After years of having horrible throat pain and other complications every time I had so much as a flicker of a cold, I finally saw an ENT who suggested I get the nasty things taken out.

He warned me that as procedures go, an adult tonsillectomy is “not pleasant.”

I nearly screamed, “I don’t care! Take them OUT!!!!!”

I was ready to put the years of tonsil torture behind me.

As it happened, in the couple of weeks before my tonsillectomy, I had fallen—hard—for someone I’d started to date.

This was one of those horse-before-the-cart deals; strongly encouraged by the signals I was seeing—and, yeah, okay, probably by some signals I wanted to see—I let myself fall way too fast.

How Bad Do You Want It?

by Carrie in Career Change and Fulfillment, Everything, Happiness, Procrastination & Productivity, Transitions

I used to think that people who created certain things—who built businesses, or were on the radio, or wrote books—were fundamentally a certain kind of person.

A kind I certainly wasn’t.

As if there was some sort of predestination involved—and I was not one of those people.

Because who the hell am I to think I could do that?

I always felt I had something inside me to share on a bigger scale, but it seemed downright silly or deluded to even share that feeling with myself—let alone anyone else!

Everyone and their mother thinks they have a book in them, I thought.

But one day, I was in the shower, listening to an interview of a researcher/writer on NPR, feeling a slight twinge of envy, and suddenly, I had a Duh Moment (this is my term for an Aha Moment that seems obvious to the point of idiotic in retrospect):

How to Go on Vacation—Right Now

by Carrie in Everything, Happiness

“I’ve decided that I’m on vacation, indefinitely. And sometimes you have to work on vacation.”

My friend Per made this pronouncement many years ago, during a perfectly normal workweek.

It made me giggle at the time.

Now I think he was onto something.

You know those stretches where your days are so full that the weeks start to run together? Where a minute ago it was March and suddenly it’s May? I’m just coming out of one of those.

Don’t get me wrong. I’m not complaining. I love what I’m doing and I’m full of gratitude to be doing a lot of it.

That said, last week I hit the point where I felt I could really use a little break.

Instead of a Bucket List, How about a F*ck It List?

by Carrie in Everything, Happiness, Transitions

By the time you’re in your thirties, you’ve been carrying around a lot of “shoulds” and “somedays” and “by the times” and “when I’ms” for a long time.

There are the promises you made to yourself as a little kid—“When I grow up, I’m going to_______!”

There are the dreams you grew in high school and college.

There are the frameworks you got from your family model of what you should or would emulate someday.

It’s important to hold onto to your dreams, and it’s never too late to go after the ones that are really important to you. When you’ve lost your way, tapping back into your earliest childhood dreams can be profoundly helpful in finding clarity.

But sometimes you outgrow a dream without realizing it, and instead of being fueled by the inspiring energy of the dream, what you carry around with you is the “should have” and the “have to” and the “still haven’t gotten around to” roughage of having this unaccomplished item on your bucket list.

As these bucket list items keep getting added over time, the accumulation can really start to weigh on you.

What Will You Miss? Consider the Big Yellow Taxi Factor

by Carrie in Career Change and Fulfillment, Everything, Happiness, Relationships, Transitions

Picture this:

It’s Saturday night, and you’re all alone, sitting on the couch, drinking wine by yourself and watching a sappy movie. The phone isn’t ringing. You have no one to talk to, nowhere to go, and nothing to do.

…

What just came up for you?

If you are like some of my clients, the singles who long to be grounded in partnership and family, it’s likely you thought, “How depressing.”

And then, maybe, “FML.”

If you are like some of my other clients, such as the mother who can hardly believe that there was a time she had a moment to herself, but knows in hazy half-memory that she did once, and fears that she never will again, it’s likely you got a dreamy look on your face and thought, “How divine.”

And then, maybe, “FML.”

The same scenario; radically different interpretations and experiences.

Perspective is everything.

How can you create perspective for yourself, when you so powerfully long for some part of your life to be different?

Today I have a great exercise for you that will help you do just that.